Doves
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: Set after "Sympathy for the Demon", in Paige's POV, a little story about her and trying to get a handle of spell-casting.


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, enough said.   
  
A/N: This is my first "Charmed" fic so be nice, I started watching the show (re-runs on TNT) and on the WB so I decided I'd write a short fic first. I hope you like it, please read and review and tell me what you think, good or bad. Thanks!   
  
"Doves"   
by SparkingDiamond   
The patterns of multi-colored light blossomed at my feet, giving the spacious attic a semi-supernatural feel, a feeling I was getting used to. Everything was spread out in front of me, waiting for my fingers, my will, to command it into being.   
And yet, I hesitated, unable to do anything but stand in front of the large, battle -and spell- scared wooden table, staring down at the different spell casting items. Prue's spell lay to my right, waiting expectantly in a pool of baby-blue light.   
Yet, I still couldn't move, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Despite everything that had happened earlier, I was still afraid of screwing up. Leo's words of reassurance had not had the desired effect on my nerves, leaving me to do nothing but stand before the table, alone with my fear.   
'Come on Paige, whatcha waiting for?' I chided myself mentally, 'it's just another screw-up to add to the list. What is this now? Try number seventy-five?' I sighed, seemingly motivated to fail once again. Following Prue's instructions I mumbled the incantation to the animal conjuring spell and pinched the spell-powder into the empty air, praying to an unknown God that a pretty white dove would flutter.  
Nothing. Okay, I'll take a pretty gray dove...an ugly dove...a crow? Empty air was all I go, another failed attempt, a smack in the face that I'm not half the witch my sister was.   
"Nice going Paige, number seventy-six." I muttered, my words filling the empty attic suddenly, and I was almost startled. For a second, I thought about changing my location again but that didn't work the first time and it probably wouldn't work this time. One of my sister's might see my failed attempt at conjuring a dove and know, once again, that I couldn't be trusted with magick of any kind. Phoebe was treating me much more fairly since she had tried to stab me to death but who knew when that attitude would wear off.   
"Trust your instincts." Leo had told me earlier but what if I didn't have any instincts to trust? I would never be a good witch, I didn't have anything inside of me to help me understand and feel the spells and the words.   
I was afraid, afraid that I wouldn't measure up to my sister, that I wasn't worthy of being a Charmed One, of filling Prue's place. Phoebe and Piper had told me and taught me to overcome my fears but they couldn't understand that words came much easier than actions. They couldn't see that I wasn't like them, I could never be like them. I was nothing more than Little Sister Paige, useful for some things but far more often just caught underfoot. What a sorry excuse for a Charmed One, a sister, I was.   
"Stop, just stop thinking that way." I commanded my mind, wondering if spending too much time in the attic was causing me to lose it. Hadn't I learned that overcoming fears was often the only way to triumph? But what was I beating, a dove conjuring spell? There would be other spells, other pit-falls, and I knew I would stumble over them all.   
A warm breeze wafted through the attic, brushing against my cheeks. I was unaware that I had left a window or door open, but decided not to bother finding it, the breeze was almost welcome. I thought of Prue, the sister I had never known and wished I had; perhaps I could have grasped the art of spell-casting if Prue Halliwell had been around.   
"Don't be afraid, just trust what you feel; it's in your blood, it's in you." The voice that filled my head I had never heard before, yet I knew instantly who was speaking to me.   
I looked up, glancing around and feeling silly for doing so; I was still alone in the attic, though suddenly it didn't feel so empty. I looked down at Prue's handwritten spell, which fluttered like the wings of a dove.   
"Right, here we go again." I muttered, picking up the powder and reciting the incantation once more. 'I can do this,' I told myself with my audacity than I felt, 'I am not afraid.'   
Finishing the spell, I tossed the powder into the air, squinting my eyes hopefully. The sight that I had hoped for suddenly immerged in the attic: a glistening white dove, flapping its wings.   
A broad smile filled my face as I let out a breath, unable to help myself from smiling. "I did it, finally." I grinned, enjoying the way the words sounded on my lips. I felt the breeze against my cheek, the way it seemed to cradle it.   
The attic door opened suddenly, knocking against the wall, startling me and the drove, which fluttered toward the rafters. It was than that I realized that the doors and windows had been closed the whole time. I glanced over at the foyer and saw Phoebe, her eyes scanning the attic before resting on me.   
"Hey, what are you doing?" She asked with a smile. Her eyes rested on the assortment of spell-materials I had spread before.   
"Nothing." I answered, returning her smile and shutting the Book of Shadows.  
"Well, you want to come downstairs? Piper's fixing one of her famous 'lunches'?" Phoebe enticed with a wrinkled nose and wane smile. I couldn't help but laugh.   
"Okay." I agreed, walking away from the table and joining my sister by the door.   
I glanced over my shoulder as I walked out of the room, my eyes resting on the white dove, which seemed to already be staring at me, watching me leave. I smiled at the dove, which simply fluttered its wings and took flight. 


End file.
